“It’s 5 o’ clock somewhere, ha ha.” It used to be the joke at any time of day. 11am, 1pm, 9am… Does it even matter anymore? No one is there to make sure you’re sober. Nothing is there to stop you from pouring a glass of wine at any time anymore.
The days melt into each other and there isn’t much to look forward to. For some of us, drinking is the only thing getting us through. Or, so we think. It’s mostly an escape during these times. Since we can’t socialize at a happy hour or have dinner together with friends, gray area drinking in quarantine is a largely solitary activity. Which means it can get a little messier than “usual.”
Waking Up Reading Texts After Drinking Too Much
Isn’t it fun? You started off happy enough, but when people stopped responding to your texts and Facetime calls, you started getting a little irritated. So, you drank another glass. Since there’s nothing to do, you’re back on your phone, commenting on wayyyyyyyy more than you ever would sober. Your sober self in fact, would be quite disappointed in you that you “liked” so and so’s post when you promised yourself you were going to distance yourself from that person.
Great, Now You Have a Million Plans, or You Have to Break Them
Plus, while drinking, you made exhausting plans with five separate people to do Zoom calls this week. Drinking made you totally forget how draining they can be and now you have promises to either live up to, or break. No matter what you decide to do, you’ll either be disappointing someone else, or putting yet another obligation on your plate – and potentially another reason to drink.
How Can You Stop Gray Area Drinking Right Now?
First of all, it’s not easy. Let’s just put that out there. It’s a slippery slope when a casual drink or two a week turn into multiple blackouts weekly. When you drink, you don’t clean, organize, get back to that person for work, exercise or finish that project you wanted to do. You just drink and get sloppy (no matter how agile and on point you think you are at the time). Waking up to a mess and having to apologize to people is no fun. So, why do we choose to drink again and again?
What’s the Underlying Issue?
For a lot of us right now, it’s loneliness. Many of us have lost our incomes. We’re separated from family and friends. Our kids can’t play with other kids or go to the playground. We’re alone. And alcohol is that ever-present friend. What we need to do to stop gray area drinking right now is to structure our day – and include some rest. What would a perfect day look like to you? Would it involve a good sweat session? Some stretching? A (sober) phone call with a loved one? A walk with your dog? An hour practicing a new skill? A chapter finished in your book? A counseling session to talk it all out? Make a checklist for yourself of the components of an amazing day and try to check off a few each day. By just visualizing this each day and physically checking them off when completed, you’ve inadvertently given yourself a daily goal of total wellness. Give it 30 days, and you just may create a healthy habit.
Replacing Habit for Habit + Accountability
Many studies have shown that simply giving something up can be hard to continuously keep up. When we replace that unhealthy habit with a healthy one, it can be much easier. Also, when we have someone to talk to and check in with us regularly to help with our goals (accountability), it gives us a chance to own up to our mistakes and human faults, while getting encouragement to keep trying. (Hint hint! Counseling helps!). You can be happy, healthy and sober. To which degree is your choice, as this article is by no means touting complete sobriety if that is not your journey right now. Rather, the mission here is to help you find ways to have a healthy day without slipping into the gray area drinking habits that you regret every single time.
About Megan Rogers, LCSW
In my own journey away from alcohol many years ago, I discovered more about myself than I ever knew possible. What I thought was the fun-loving, social side of me was, to be totally honest, simply the drunk side of me. I was tired of the boozy planning, the missed appointments, the apologies, the messes, and spending so much money (on something that was assuredly a frenemy).
In my counseling practice, I focus on helping my clients cope and heal from anxiety, depression, and gray area drinking. If this article has resonated with you, please book a complimentary intro call here. I would love to help you get back to the best you there is. And if gray area drinking has been part of the problem, you’ve come to the right place. Telehealth appointments are available for my comprehensive gray area drinking coaching. Click here to begin.
