You’ve been on the start-stop merry-go-round with drinking for a while.
You probably don’t drink too much differently than most of your friends, or your partner, but it just doesn’t feel the same as it used to.
You’re waking up feeling like shit, and with such dread about how you might have behaved the night before.
What did you say? Were you a jerk, or did you embarrass yourself? Does your text history fill in the Oh-God-I-Wish-I-Didn’t-Know-That blanks?
Despite this, you’re pretty much keeping it together, most of the time.
You’re able to function, maybe only slightly letting responsibilities slip, but overall, you’re doing just fine.
Alcohol helps. You deserve it (life is so stressful, right?). It’s your treat at the end of the day. It calms your nerves. Helps you relax. Is your go-to ingredient for celebration and heartache; all things good and bad. It is your magic social elixir, the one that makes connecting so much easier, and everything so much more fun.
And yet.
If you’re honest with yourself, you have been drinking more. It’s almost every night now, just a glass or two (or three or four).
You’re starting to worry.
Maybe you’ve taken the online “Am I an Alcoholic?” quizzes, and ended up with feelings of relief or despair, depending on the results.
Maybe you’ve been hearing about gray area drinking, or the sober curious movement, or maybe you know someone who’s quit drinking and you seriously just cannot even imagine.
But part of you is interested, maybe even a little. And a bigger part of you is scared.
You literally cannot imagine a social event (morning, noon, or night, let’s be real) without it.
You fast-forward to future vacations, big celebrations and milestones, and inevitable big life losses. How would you navigate any of them without drinking?
You worry about losing friends, or maybe worse yet, your party-til-the-end partner or spouse. You don’t want to stop being fun. You still want to connect with people.
You’d rather have a questionable relationship with alcohol than be boring, ugh. And there’s no way in hell you’re going to a 12-step meeting.
You’re not that bad anyway. You haven’t lost your relationships, your job, your kids, your home.
But then again, you’ve probably already tried (a thousand times) to moderate, drink less, or go extended periods without drinking.
Maybe you’re even pretty good at stopping, but also just as good at starting again.
This cycle, even when we’re not messing up our lives in the process, wreaks havoc on our bodies, brains, and our spirits.
It takes a toll on relationships, self-esteem, and steals true joy out of our lives.
You don’t have to have a drinking problem for drinking to be a problem.
The notion of Gray Area Drinking has inspired countless people to take stock, to question their consumption, and to explore what a booze-free life might be like (hint: it’s pretty rad).
People who aren’t so black and white on the alcohol continuum: not hitting rock bottom, but not entirely in the clear, either.
People who are waking up to the fact that you don’t have to have a drinking problem for drinking to be a problem.
People who are realizing, as Annie Grace says, that “alcohol is the only drug on earth that we have to justify not taking.” And maybe that’s kinda f-ed up, actually.
Let’s be honest. You want to feel energetic and present in your life. You want to set a good example for your family.
You’re already doing so many other healthy things (exercise, yoga, meditation, smoothies, you name it!), but the one thing that doesn’t fit is alcohol.
You want to live in integrity. Living out of it is a surefire way to keep the cycle going.
You don’t want to feel anxious and depressed (who does?). Alcohol pretty much guarantees one or the other, if not both.
Maybe it’s time to try something different.
Maybe it’s time to take a stand braver and more badass than most of the people around you. To start building a fully intentional life and a sense of self in alignment with who you know you can be.
Sobriety allows you to be the person you were trying to be while you were drinking.
I’m not going to Pollyanna this for you. You do have to do the work. And it’s not the easiest thing for most of us, not in the beginning.
So what helps?
In my experience, we need to rewire our brains and reset our lives. We need to learn:
- how to build a social life that doesn’t revolve around booze (and how to navigate social situations, celebrations, holidays so you can wake up hangover- and regret-free)
- how to feed your brain, body, and spirit so you don’t feel like you have to (or want to) drink
- tools and techniques to deal with what often drives us to drink in the first place (Depression. Anxiety. Relationships. Stress.)
And having someone steadfast in your corner helps. I’d be so honored to be your person.
I am unapologetically, enthusiastically committed to a booze-free life. It’s the single best decision I’ve ever made. The one that freed me.
If I can do it, so can you (trust me).
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